addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
