i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
