so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
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i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
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That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize