That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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