Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
