Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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