let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
