You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
