the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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