Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
