I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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