You're a womanizer and a bitch.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?