How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
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You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
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No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.