i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.