perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
