I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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