She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.