Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?

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(713): Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave? http://tfl.nu/a6k0

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.

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(402): Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best. http://tfl.nu/u0y2

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(705): View more from Ontario

It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.

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(705): It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed. http://tfl.nu/ac0o

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(856): View more from New Jersey

The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand

(1-856): View more from New Jersey

We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?

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(856): The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand (1-856): We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh? http://tfl.nu/4r62

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(903): View more from Texas

I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.

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(903): I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk. http://tfl.nu/07kh

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(204): View more from Manitoba

you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...

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(204): you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back... http://tfl.nu/izou

Replies (17) Good night (2245) Bad night (879) Order T-Shirt
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(815): View more from Illinois

I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance

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(815): I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance http://tfl.nu/h8yt

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.

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(901): I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan. http://tfl.nu/ohh7

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(812): View more from Indiana

I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.

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(812): I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice. http://tfl.nu/sig2

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(503): View more from Oregon

im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night

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(503): im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night http://tfl.nu/l78r

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(203): View more from Connecticut

We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese

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(203): We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese http://tfl.nu/oc3v

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.

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(920): Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage. http://tfl.nu/b73b

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(707): View more from California

It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.

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(707): It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know. http://tfl.nu/9rsw

Replies (20) Good night (1498) Bad night (511)
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(352): View more from Florida

As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back

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(352): As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back http://tfl.nu/26q8

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something

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(612): Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something http://tfl.nu/w0o2

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