Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.

(631): View more from New York

Samesies

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(610): I can only be a whore so many days outta the week. (631): Samesies http://tfl.nu/jurs

Replies (23) Good night (4944) Bad night (860)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Why are my keys in the refrigerator?

(1-205): View more from Alabama

You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.

(205): View more from Alabama

This explains so much.

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(205): Why are my keys in the refrigerator? (1-205): You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you. (205): This explains so much. http://tfl.nu/ouwy

Replies (30) Good night (18510) Bad night (1184)
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(720): View more from Colorado

she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod

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(720): she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod http://tfl.nu/2sd3

Replies (6) Good night (5749) Bad night (1109)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka

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(617): They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka http://tfl.nu/47bx

Replies (4) Good night (4677) Bad night (836)
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(914): View more from New York

He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.

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(914): He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now. http://tfl.nu/ph35

Replies (15) Good night (1483) Bad night (3460)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Whatever you gave me is making me lactate

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(918): Whatever you gave me is making me lactate http://tfl.nu/rku9

Replies (8) Good night (828) Bad night (2872)
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(360): View more from Washington

I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"

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(360): I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!" http://tfl.nu/wn2w

Replies (9) Good night (1724) Bad night (796)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.

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(704): My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search. http://tfl.nu/gxvg

Replies (2) Good night (674) Bad night (2081)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.

(513): View more from Ohio

I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.

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(513): I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote. (513): I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now. http://tfl.nu/2ikr

Replies (17) Good night (789) Bad night (1682)
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(770): View more from Georgia

You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.

(770): View more from Georgia

I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.

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(770): You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine. (770): I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon. http://tfl.nu/cq2b

Replies (0) Good night (1287) Bad night (489)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.

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(612): And the cockring thing wasn't sexual. http://tfl.nu/ceb9

Replies (19) Good night (387) Bad night (730)
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(630): View more from Illinois

so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?

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(630): so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!? http://tfl.nu/j27z

Replies (2) Good night (332) Bad night (556)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.

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(808): In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it. http://tfl.nu/3ucc

Replies (4) Good night (284) Bad night (343)
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(858): View more from California

Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker

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(858): Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker http://tfl.nu/c3nf

Replies (3) Good night (612) Bad night (143)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?

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(248): I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right? http://tfl.nu/943w

Replies (0) Good night (199) Bad night (125)

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