how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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