"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
