One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
