saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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