Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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