It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
