why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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