I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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