brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
