my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
