I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
