nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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