Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
