I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
