I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize