Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
