okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
