thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
