I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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