Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize