Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
