May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
