WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
