If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
