oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
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i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
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The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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