anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
