My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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