Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
