Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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