I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
