He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
