he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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