ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
