Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
love makes seman taste better
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
