of course. lets lasso hookers.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
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Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
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I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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