she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
