Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I got her a Nickelback box set.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
