I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
