whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
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We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
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Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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