I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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