btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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