Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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