I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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