I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
