Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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