Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
