doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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