Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
