I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
This beer is not sobering me up at all
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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