If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
