stop calling my apartment porn island.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
