my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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