Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
