Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
